The Search Continues

Noah and I are looking for a roommate. We took an ad out on Craigslist. And it went a little something like this right here:

See, it's like this. We have a cool house and we're cool people. There's two of us, a guy and a girl. One is black so if you're a racist or believe that Black people steal then this place is obviously not for you. Brentwood may be available. Oh yeah, the other is white. So, if you subscribe to reverse racism and think "The Man" is the root of all evil and wrong in this world, then this place isn't for you either. I don't know where those people go to breed and/or create a livelihood. Try Brentwood? Mar Vista? Actually you're on your own, you bigoted bastard.

I will be completely matter of fact and list the pros and cons of the place:

Pros - Santa Monica address - people will think you're cool and hip. Plus we're close to SMC to you can feel smart simply by geographical osmosis.

Washer/dryer - You won't need quarters anymore! You'll no longer really have an excuse to keep a sock full of quarters by your bed as a makeshift weapon or coin purse, but think of all the telescopes you can gaze into at the pier! (We're close that too.)

Street parking - There's tons. Sometimes a guy with a Vespa who lives across the street hogs curb space, but we simply laugh at him behind his back. Sometimes we kick it when he's not looking. Stupid Vespa.

Hardwood floors - Great for sock hops and makeshift slip-n-slides. Newly remodeled kitchen - So you can cook stuff and impress your friends. Or defrost like I do. Either way, your kitchen is definitely better than everyone else's you know. Unless they are millionaires and live in the hills and in that case, why don't you go live with them instead?

Utilities included - Go ahead. Leave that light on. Energy crisis, shmenergy crisis. Facilities - You live in a house instead of an apartment. How cool and grown up are you now? Very. And when delivery people ask you what the apt. number or floor is you can smugly reply, "It's a house." Be the asshole you've always wanted to be.

Full creative control of the decorating scheme - Right now our look is "new college graduate chic." We are ready for a new look. But no crazy girly candles and shit. Fuck that.

Cons - Extreme varying climate - My grandpa built the house and there is no central heat or air. It gets hot. It gets cold. We adapt. And by adapt we mean sweaters in the winter and fans in the summer. Pretend it's New York . . .by the beach!

The Door - For some reason there is a door through the master bedroom to the room in the back. Ah, grandpa was such a kidder. Since the master bedroom would be yours, you must be okay with this. The person in the back room (moi) usually uses her private entrance. Sometimes she will go through your room when you are not home to get to her own. As addressed in the intro paragraph, she does not steal.

Walls - The walls are kinda thin. Sometimes you hear things. Just pretend you didn't the next morning. Or cheer your housemate on silently and then laugh at them in the morning. Once again, we adapt. Right.

So now that you've read about the house you kinda know what you're getting into. We watch reality tv, we share food, no one steals, sometimes people have sex loud, we drink together, smoke weed often (more not than often, but worth mentioning), welcome porn and various vices, but no pets.
Room available for move in between Aug. 15 & September 1. Who's got dibs?