One with my chest!

It took me about 23 years to finally get into this mindset. Okay, well maybe not 23 years but I guess since 3rd grade I've been grappling with the fact that I developed early . . .and kept developing. But now I am finally at one with my chest and the proud owner of a beautiful pair of breasts.

Have you met?

Well, let me introduce you to the ladies . . .
Macy - The quiet one. Macy has always been the intuitive introvert, very smart. She mostly stays in and reads books about smart people things like the economy and the Reagan administration. She watches CNN Headline News, Meet the Press, and Hardball with Chris Matthews. For awhile she wanted to run for public office but finally decided to get her law degree, take the bar, and practice criminal law. She's one tough bitch and let me tell ya' - still waters run deep.

Tracy - Ah, the loud one. She blasts her music, talks through scary movies (any movie for that matter), flirts with boys, gets way too drunk at parties, and writes notes to the bartender. She wanted to go into massage therapy but couldn't seem to get her ass to class at community college so the girl dropped out. She's really fun, don't get me wrong, but the girl needs some fucking focus. And how!Anyway, I put together a list of things I liked about the twins and things I hated.

Here's an abridged version so you guys know where I'm coming from:
Cons
--People stare. Guys, girls (a LOT of girls. And don't think I'm dressed like this because I'm trying to steal your man. And yes, bitch, he's staring too. I'm wearing this shirt because nothing else fits!)
-Quick! What color are my eyes?-Strapless bras? Please.-Going braless? Please.-Running or excercise requires more than one sports bra. This creates sausage chest. Not pretty.
-Can a bitch get some spaghetti straps?-And just because I've got enough up here to feed a family of four doesn't mean that I'm a fatty everywhere else. Here's an idea, let's make a shirt that fits in BOTH the chest and the waist. Genius, fucking genius.

PROS!
-They were free.
-They're fun to accessorize.-No lines, no waiting, and sometimes I get free stuff. Okay, maybe a lot.
-Despite the above average size they're perky. Awesome.
-If touched correctly I go insane. Go ahead, bite them. Perfect.
-Did I mention the free stuff?
-They're pretty! So, so pretty.So, now that I've finally accepted my body and become one with my chest I thought I'd share this newfound pride with the class. Now talk amongst yourselves.

Viva la Sweater Puppies!