Numerically Speaking

Just some little things hopping around on the moon bounce of my brain. Tiny things, insignificant things.

1 . Dry shampoo to me sounds like some white people ish. Everyone else uses water, you should too.

2 . As mentioned in a previous status update, a lot of my friends have thrown their backs out. While it’s funny, it’s also very very sad because it means that they now have to have very careful and orchestrated sex. And very careful and orchestrated walking. Which sucks.

3 . In similar body deterioration news, I think I am developing carpal tunnel in my right wrist. Computer injuries are lame and basically scream “I never work out.”

4 . Which I totally do, sometimes twice a day.

5 . So I’m not thinner with a rockin’ body because what? God hates me?

6 . My new filing system at work involves taping important emails to the wall in front of me because I am too lazy to order a corkboard from Office Max. My office looks like the cramped apartment those serial killer psychos that tape up old newspaper clippings about random stuff. Like abductions they know they did.

7 . Recently, my bellybutton ring was completely ripped from my flesh. While this sounds gross and terrible, it’s not as gross and the ER cartarizing the wound with silver nitrate. Basically my belly button ring was RIPPED OUT and then BURNED SHUT. And this was before 8 am on a Saturday.

8 . Now accepting your sympathy.

9 . Remember in college when you could call someone at 11pm, talk for an hour, then decide to go over to their house to watch a movie until 3am and then wake up and go to an 8am lecture? Now all my friends fall asleep at 10:30pm. Coming over after 11pm is blasphemous and a phone call after 10pm means “it’s an emergency.” No it doesn’t. It means I’m bored and my boyfriend in on the computer or watching anime, TALK TO ME.

10. It’s really hot. Thanks for showing the fuck up, Summer.